


Only Darkness

by Lire_Casander



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Star Trek: Into Darkness Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 16:50:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The heat is all he can feel. The heat that’s not coming from outside, but that’s eating him from the very core of his being, crawling up and slowly taking every single sign of life in his body. All he can do is sit there and let it conquer his insides, crack down his defenses and take over his mind.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Newbie here. It’s my first story in this universe, in this fandom, and in a long time. Please be gentle with me. Thanks for reading!

The heat is all he can feel. The heat that’s not coming from outside, but that’s eating him from the very core of his being, crawling up and slowly taking every single sign of life in his body. All he can do is sit there and let it conquer his insides, crack down his defenses and take over his mind.

He is going to die alone.

Maybe he deserves it. Maybe there was nothing else for him in this universe that was shaken by unexpected events which forced him to become the man he is now – a former juvenile delinquent, a former wild rebel, a former son, a former brother, a former captain who never really knew how to act on the bridge when his ship was given back to him. All he has been in his life is resumed in this very moment of truth – all he has always been is a former _something_. He can’t even remember why his crew trusted him, why no one has started a riot and taken over the bridge during one of his so common tantrums.

He has guided them to destruction more than once. And yet they all have followed his steps, questioning his actions when it was necessary, but never disobeying. Maybe he should be proud that his last decision in this life will be saving a whole planet – a whole _universe_ – from disappearing into a black hole of despair and agony.

But in _his_ agony, he is afraid. Afraid of what’s after this, of not knowing if he’s going to see his father in the afterlife, if he deserves to go the Heaven he was told as a child, if there’s any Heaven to go to after all.

The glass door is closed, as it should be. He can see Scott on the other side, pressing buttons, mouth forming words he cannot hear. Maybe it’s better this way – if only he could tell Scotty to get out of there so no one could see what he has become in the last breaths of his existence.

A rustle of clothes later, there is this silhouette against the glass he cannot see properly, his eyes dropping closed. He can’t fathom why anyone would want to stay there, silent, only there is no silence but he cannot make out the words – _Can it be opened?_ , maybe but his ears aren’t working properly so he can’t really tell – and the silhouette lands on the floor and he can see Spock on his knees, gaze lost, and it’s the first time he sees such intent emotion in the Vulcan.

He is going to die, even if he’s afraid and trembling, and the heat is taking up space inside of him. But he is not going to die alone.

His lips move, form words he won’t be able to remember – and why would he want to, he is _dying_ after all – and Spock is retaliating, relentlessly, picking up each word, and hasn’t he heard something about being friends? Why is he trying to explain why he came back to save Spock? Why is he suddenly wondering how it would be to grow old besides his crew, on the bridge of his beautiful ship, when he has now no options to even reach his next birthday?

Hands on the glass. With great effort he focuses on the picture, on the fingers separated in such a Vulcan salute, and he tries his best to match the action. He lifts his hand, tries hard to mimic the gesture, feels failure as his strength leaves him. His eyes don’t focus anywhere anymore, and he wants to say so many things to Spock but his mouth isn’t moving anymore.

He dies, and there’s only darkness after all.


End file.
